Please Shut Up Now

                              In case ya’ll haven’t noticed, I’m on a bit of a hiatus for reasons I will explain in the the not-so-distant future.  Until then, thanks for dropping by.  -The RB I get a lot of emails that aren’t quite hate…

Penis Broken

Standing ovation for the Safeway check-out guy who not only publicly admits to his penile dysfunction–a most painful admission indeed–but he magnanimously offers his finger as a replacement for all the women food shopping who are too horny to wait until they get home (by the way, ladies, I saw his fingers…they’re HUGE!).  Thanks, Safeway…

So You Wanna be a Douchebag – Part Deux-che

A recurring scene at my bar: “Excuse me, sir.” “What’s up, chief?” “You didn’t leave enough money to cover the tab.” (Looks at the bill)  “Those glasses of champagne aren’t mine.” “I believe they are.  You ordered them for those two women.” (Looks toward the front door where the aforementioned women recently exited)  “No I…

So You Wanna be a Douchebag?

Insider Tips to the Art of Douchebaggery Part I I work in a place that attracts douchebags like water to a drain.  Somebody has to.  When you’re a douchebag, you either own it and drive a Corvette and go out night after night, hitting on other guys’ girlfriends and hi-fiving strangers after saying things like,…

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The 13 Most Common Lies Told in Bars

A few weeks ago I overheard a guy telling everyone within shouting earshot about his all night slumber party with two heavenly vixens. Unfortunately for him, I play a lot of poker and I immediately spotted his tell. It was a dead giveaway:  he was disgusting. And he had the personality of a retarded goat.…