A husband and wife were sitting at my bar this weekend when I overheard this conversation.  I was drinking a water at the time and almost snorted it through my nose.

Wife:  My god I’m full.  I ate way too much.

Husband:  Uh huh. Me too.

Wife:  I hate when I do that, but the burger was soooo good.

Husband:  Yep, that’ll do it.

Wife:  That’s it, after this I’m going on a diet.  I’m tired of this. Every time I look in the mirror, all I see is a fat, ugly old lady looking back at me.

(Silence)

Wife:  Let me give you a lesson on etiquette, dear.  As a husband and friend, this is precise moment that you pay me a compliment to make me feel better about myself.

Husband:  Ok…you have outstanding eyesight.