The Bar Facilitator

After last weekend, I’m seriously considering enforcing the use of shock collars for certain clientele.  It’s not the first time that a man sitting alone at my bar has decided that once the bartenders get busy it’s his job to be a facilitator by acting as some sort of middleman who calls us over insistently…

The Man Quiz: Test Your Testosterone

If you’re a guy, one of your favorite things to do is ridicule other guys for the things they choose to indulge in if those things aren’t manly enough. Just last night a guy ordered a lemondrop martini from me and his buddy said to him, “Don’t forget to lift up your skirt when you sit…

Spiderman: Superhero or Satan-Worshiper?

Forgive me because I’m not sure this can’t even be classified as a real post, and I might end up in a straight jacket rolling around a padded room for preaching my conspiracy theories, but yesterday as I was watching Spiderman shooting creepy webs from his palms and swinging from buildings like a chimpanzee, I…

The Martini Identity Crisis

“The martini is the only American invention as perfect as a sonnet.” -H.L. Mencken In 1996 I was visiting my sister and her family on a night when Mike Tyson was fighting and on the comeback trail after his release from prison.  He had been convicted of raping Desiree Washington in 1992 and was now…