Duane the Mixologist

Duane the Mixologist

Hello, my name is Duane. I am a mixologist.  If you do not believe me, just ask anyone at the bar and they will tell you that I am a mixologist.   If you need a cocktail, please do not call out, “Hey bartender,” because I will not respond, as I am not a bartender.  Please call me Duane, or Master Mixologist and I will be happy to serve you (sometimes when I’m feeling fun, I tell people that my name is Sir Mix-alot or Dr. Mixy and I get a fun reaction to my clever banter).   Some people think it is fun to go out and have drinks at a bar, but as a master mixologist, I have discovered a way to make it an agonizingly slow and painful experience. I used to work with Dave, but I do not like him very much because he would call me Sewage Duane and also sing that Prince song, except he changed it to Purple Duane which would make people...
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