The 19 Stupidest Things I’ve Ever Heard People Say in My Bar

The 19 Stupidest Things I’ve Ever Heard People Say in My Bar

Over the past several months, I’ve been paying attention and writing down things I’ve overheard people say because they’re either wasted or just plain stupid. It’s difficult to discern in a bar. I was going to keep adding to my list the stupid things people say, but I’ve become obsessed listening to conversations, so for the sake of my own sanity, I’ve decided that I’m done. I will say that during this time I felt like a scientist living with gorillas and gathering valuable research…except this is far more important, because who gives a shit about gorillas? 1. One guy to another:  “Man, if I was good-looking I’d be getting laid all the time.”   2. Some bimbo with a group of her friends:  “It’s just the way cats are, they get spooked easily.  It’s human nature.”   3. A guy arguing with his friends why USC lost to Stanford:  “The biggest factor in the game was the amount of points scored.”   4. Some guy bragging about how...
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