Monthly Archives: August 2017

Restaurant Health Inspection: Are You Ready?

How come nobody talks about the sexiness of health codes, with all the mold and fruit flies and the prevention of rat feces in the work place?

Guess I’m by myself in that space.

Nevertheless, you had better make sure that your bar/restaurant is up to code when it comes time for your next health inspection or the consequences will be substantial, including shutting down your business.

Remaining up to code isn’t that complicated, but it does require you putting a cleaning system in place and some elbow grease.

And of course, you must know what to look for, which is why I created The Ultimate Health Inspection Guide, complete with checklists, so you can ensure that your bar/restaurant stays up to code, and most importantly, that none of your guests get sick.

To get your guide visit the Resources page here at and simply download the PDF, print it out and hang it on your wall or tack it to your forehead. Whatever you need to do to get it done.

And don’t forget to delegate cleaning tasks to your staff so you aren’t taking all this on yourself. Simply include it in the daily, weekly and monthly sidework, and dole it out amongst your minions.

Shock the shit out of your next health inspector and show him/her you know exactly what’s up when it comes to running a sanitary business.

Cheers, until next time,


How to Make a Braveheart Cocktail

The Braveheart Cocktail: best consumed in a kilt (commando, of course), although you can totally sip it in your bathrobe at home if you’re feeling more Heffner than Wallace.

Just don’t expect to battle oppression and tyranny from your sofa wearing a cloth belt.





The Watermelon Negroni Slushee

We all know my affinity for Bourbon Slushees (I’ve stated out loud more than once that if 7-Eleven were ever to invest in a Bourbon Slushee machine in my area, I would be in at least once per day to purchase an extra large cup, along with a couple of those beef jerky sticks in the clear plastic bins that thousands of people touch).

For now, I’ll have to make them at home, along with my newest interpretation of sophistication: the Negroni Slushee.

Or more specifically, the Watermelon Negroni Slushee.

There’s nothing better than taking a classic, refined cocktail with decades of chronicled history behind it and reducing it to something you could buy on the Vegas strip in one of those 3-foot long plastic tubes.

In other words, it ruins cocktail purists’ day, and for reasons I can’t explain, that brings me joy.

In this case, it simply had to be done because the Watermelon Negroni Slushee, with it’s bitter and refreshing flavors is absolutely and unapologetically delightful. And it’s still summer for a little bit longer. Which means you can be sophisticated and still remain child-like, all in one drunken summer afternoon while streaking down your Slip-n-Slide.

So, take your snob hat off and stay for awhile. Don’t be Sam from Green Eggs and Ham. Try it, try it and you will see..

You’ll love, love, love the Watermelon Negroni Slushee!

The best advice I can give for any cocktail that you are going to blend that contains only alcohol and no mixers is to mix them all in a one covered container and put it in the freezer for a couple of hours so that when the liquid hits the ice, it doesn’t dilute the drink nearly as much.

Nothing melts ice faster than liquor.

Also, even though we are blending drinks like we’re at TGIF’s, it goes without saying to use quality alcohol for each. I’ll leave it up to your preference.


4 oz. Gin
2 oz. Campari
2 oz. Sweet Vermouth
1 Cup Watermelon Cubes
3 Cups of Ice


1. Mix the three alcohols together in a container with a lid and put in the freezer to chill for at least 2 hours.

2. When you’re ready, place alcohol, watermelon and ice in the blender and blend on high until smooth.

3. Pour into fancy summer glasses and garnish with a watermelon slice.

Enjoy your slushee and be careful, because it’s habit-forming!

Cheer, until next time,


How to Make an Otter Pop Shot

Remember Otter Pops? Those long frozen treats with all the sugar and artificial colors and flavors you needed to give you the energy to terrorize your neighborhood all day long in the summer.

Well, this is the same thing…except for adults. Who want the energy and courage to embarrass themselves at their local watering hole all night long. In any season.