A Tribute to the Almighty Bartender

Bartenders are a rare breed, and like dogs, there are more different types of bartenders than you could name by memory. People ask me all the time, how do I become a bartender? And what type of bar should I work in?

Helping you become a bartender, I can definitely help with, but part two of that questions relies solely on the type of person you are. Think about it. Bartenders can range from the uppity Manhattan bartender donned in a full suit (vest and tie included), who serves you Louis XIII while the two of you weigh the pros and cons of various mutual funds, all the way to that smelly, cantankerous bartender with the bad teeth wearing that grimy wife-beater tank top and pouring you a shot of Old Crow Whiskey into a filthy shot glass.

And everyone in between.

Including the truly gifted bartenders, who some of you like to refer to as “mixologists” which makes me cringe to the point of wanting to stick forks in my eyes. A talented bartender who crafts amazing drinks is still a bartender. He doesn’t need a new title.

Furthermore, the bartending position itself is unlike any other profession in the galaxy. No other profession has been envied by so many. I can’t tell you how many times while I was bartending that I had doctors, lawyers and businessmen and women say to me, “Man, I wish I could bartend. That would be awesome!”

You don’t see that in other careers. Nobody tells the dentist while getting their teeth cleaned that they wish they could throw on a white lab coat and scrape plaque from people teeth.

And it’s because being a bartender can often be likened to being a mini-rock star. You are the center of attention, mixing alcohol, which in itself is considered cool as fuck because there isn’t a more awesome liquid on the planet than alcohol, except maybe mercury because it’s all chrome-looking and fluid like the cop Terminator in Terminator Part II.

And yet, I also can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked by those same doctors, lawyers, and businessmen and women, “So, what else do you do?” or “What are you going to do with your life?”

Hmmmm…so you want to be a bartender for fun, but you don’t consider it to be a serious profession…

In the meantime, we are making more than school teachers and entry to mid-level business people. Before I left bartending to start Bar Patrol (my inventory management company) I was making more than $100,000 per year bartending. Too bad bartending isn’t a “real” job. Perhaps we should go back to school for four years so we can take a $50,000 per year pay cut.

With that said, I’m not angry or bitter, even though it sounds that way. I’m simply sticking up for my own kind.

And in thinking about all the wonderful bartenders I’ve worked with or been served by, I have forged a tribute to them. To the variety of breeds out there and everything they do to help you get wicked-wasted so that you have the courage to do things you would never attempt sober, and making it taste great in the process.

So enjoy the tribute, and more importantly, if you like it, give it a thumbs up and share it on Facebook, Youtube or anywhere else so other bartenders can watch and enjoy and know that they are appreciated for all they do and all they have become.

CLICK HERE or the image below to watch the video. Thanks for being here.