4 Steps to Setting Pars in Your Bar

In a previous article we talked about determining how much stock you should have on-hand using the 15% rule, and now we’re going to talk about how to set your pars to keep those levels right where they should be week after week so that you can free up capital and run lean numbers month after […]

The 21 Laws of Owning and Running a Bar

To all of the owners and managers online who have been emailing me, you can stop pestering me now. It’s finished. You can buy on Amazon it by clicking HERE  and download it to the Kindle app for the price of a Grey Goose and tonic. But unlike vodka, this will save your business and reduce your next […]

How to Determine Optimal Inventory Levels For Your Bar

Bar managers love their giant inventory. They must. Why else would they have $20,000 of inventory on-hand when they’re sales are only $60,000 per month? I assume it’s the variety. Like owning a stamp or coin collection. It’s fun to show off your array of rare whiskeys and Scotches to people who walk in, which […]

The 19 Stupidest Things I’ve Ever Heard People Say in My Bar

Over the past several months, I’ve been paying attention and writing down things I’ve overheard people say because they’re either wasted or just plain stupid. It’s difficult to discern in a bar. I was going to keep adding to my list the stupid things people say, but I’ve become obsessed listening to conversations, so for […]

The Secret to Cost Control That Nobody is Practicing

Liquor Cost Control

If you’ve been in this industry for any amount of time, you have at least been exposed to an insane way of thinking that doesn’t exist in any other work force I’ve ever come across. This way of thinking has become so engrained over the years into the minds of owners and managers that it’s difficult […]

The 10 Best Bar Promotions Ever

Since writing this post over a year ago, I have had multiple requests for more bar promotions, so I finally got off my perfectly sculptured ass and complied. I spent time speaking with 12 of my bar owner friends and asked them the best bar promotions they ever ran, and I then I wrote an […]

Duane the Mixologist

Hello, my name is Duane. I am a mixologist.  If you do not believe me, just ask anyone at the bar and they will tell you that I am a mixologist.   If you need a cocktail, please do not call out, “Hey bartender,” because I will not respond, as I am not a bartender.  Please call me […]

Sandi’s 7-Step Guide to Becoming a Great Server

As a recent graduate of Bowman’s Academy of Acting in the top 87% of my class, I decided to get a temporary job as a server with Dave at his dumb bar, but I am only working here until my talent agent gets me an audition to be the newest sister on the Kardashians. Due […]

Why Bartending Schools Don’t Work

bartending schools

In case you’re as dim as a 10-watt bulb, you are quite alert to the fact that I am anti-bartending school. I’ve been bartending and bar managing for 15 years now and I can’t quite describe my level of agitation when I see all the articles on the Internet that advise people to sign up […]

Look Ma, I’m in Cosmo

It’s true, apparently I’ve made it big time. No, I’m not one of the hot dudes with his shirt off giving smoky looks of lust. In fact, there is no picture of me at all (at least not yet), only my name.  One of the writers from Cosmopolitan Magazine reads my blog and she was […]

The Douchebag’s 10-Step Guide for Proper Bar Behavior

Sometimes I love my job.  And sometimes I feel like a dirty hooker lying on her back on a urine soaked mattress in a sleazy motel:  I focus on a spot on the wall and allow my mind to drift to a happier place in order to avoid the sweating, grunting clientele who just want […]

Bar Etiquette: How to Keep the Bartender Happy

Occupational hazards are a way of life no matter your profession:  doctors are required to be in the presence of the sick and dying, construction workers are on the constant lookout for falling cinderblocks, Alaskan king crab fisherman must avoid being washed overboard by a giant swell.  Sure, bartenders do not walk the same perilous […]